Don't Leave Me
by Rose Blood
Summary: What can I say, this is just pure sap. Trowa and Quatre finally get it together properly


Don't Leave Me  
  
Not the first 3X4 fic I've written but it is the first I've made public. Flames are welcomed. I'm always glad of ideas on how to improve my stories. But please, no flames about the other pairings, this is meant to be a Trowa and Quatre fic. Sadly I do not own anything in Gundam Wing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Well perhaps you shouldn't bother from now on!"  
  
"Fine! I won't if that's the way you feel!"  
  
Trowa stalked away, anger and pain burning deep into his heart. It was over. There was no more Quatre and Trowa. The words of his blond ex-best friend stabbing large gashes into the love and trust he had worked so hard to build up for the Arabian prince. As friends they had been close. As best friends they had been closer, but now it seemed that Quatre had been avoiding him recently. The tall brunette didn't know if it was because he had noticed it more and missed it more, or if the Sandrock pilot just didn't want to be around him anymore. Over the past months something more than friendship had been growing, until both had confessed they felt something more than friendship for each other. There was no physicality within their relationship at all, Quatre had always been scared of getting close to people, especially after the incident with his father and sister. To put a definition on their relationship it was little more than close friendship. Not like Wufei and Treize.  
Despite all conflicting opinions and the many reasons why the pair were not allowed to be together they sought comfort and love with each other. The fellow three pilots had all seen the difference Treize had made to Wufei's attitude, he was calmer, happier. And he no longer had to run to the bathroom to staunch the flow of blood from his nostrils whenever he saw Heero and Duo ravishing each other's mouths.  
  
Trowa sighed. He so dearly wanted to love Quatre but it was difficult when the blue eyed pilot didn't believe in love. Since the death of his father and Irea, Quatre had blamed himself non-stop and promptly stopped believing in love. It only caused people to get hurt. His love for the Heavyarms pilot was simply care and affection so he had said. He hadn't seen the flash of pain across emerald eyes. At that moment Trowa had seen the truth. He was no more than a friend to his dearly loved Arabian, no matter how much the blond had told him he was different, Trowa no longer believed him. Resigning himself to loveless existence the tall pilot wandered aimlessly around the large gardens, until he was summoned for a new mission.  
  
Quatre wiped away the stray tear from his eye. How could Trowa have been so cruel? What could have made him so angry? Turning away slowly he made his way back to the mansion, stumbling now and again in his confusion and despair. After agonising minutes of struggling to stand up straight the small blond gave up and collapsed to his knees on the gravel path, sobbing uncontrollably into his delicate hands. Couldn't Trowa see that he loved him? Perhaps that was the problem. Trowa could not see. Blinded by orders of a soldier Quatre's love was invisible to him. It wasn't just Heero who could be a perfectly cold soldier.  
  
It was many hours before the two pilots met again. Quite by accident. They had both been given a mission separately and needed their gundams, it was an apparent occurrence that they would meet up in the gundam hanger where Heavyarms and Sandrock stood side by side in silent observation.  
  
"Do you have a mission too, Trowa?" The Arabian boy broke the uncomfortable silence. But the brown banged pilot only nodded in response, too afraid his emotions would break free from his mouth if it were to be opened. A cold mist of unspoken emotions filled the air, neither boy wanting to admit his own true feelings. Quatre shifted nervously, hoping Heero would come through with the mission objectives soon. Seeing the tall green eyed boy looking so distant was threatening to cause a major breakdown. The stoic boy had always seemed to open up with Quatre around, always seemed happy to see him. And now it was as though Trowa had receded back into the uncaring shell he had been when they had first met. The blue eyed youth felt hurt. He cared so deeply for all his friends, but none more so than the young Heavyarms pilot. And he had reminded Trowa of this countless times. It was obvious the affection had been felt in return, only the emerald eyed teen couldn't see Quatre's care  
and love anymore. Today had been a day where, for no reason, the brunette hadn't accepted the whispered words of love Quatre always brought him. He had told the blond not to bother caring, and Quatre's heart had broken. It was true of the danger of loving Trowa, but he could not help himself.  
  
Trowa couldn't stand the pain. Being so near to the one he loved so dearly, but feeling so distant. He had felt that somehow he had been linked to Quatre in some way, as if they were two parts of the same element. Soul mates. And now that link felt severed, he had lost his only love. More often than not it was Trowa who apologised for incidents like this, Quatre's love was too valuable to risk losing over often petty little things. But this time was different. It was unusual to say the least for the silent boy to express his emotions so deeply, and so the message had come as much of a shock to the blond Arabian. It recorded the very depths of Trowa's feelings for his blue eyed comrade, digitally captured in a series of codes. The petit boy had solved the scattered digits with the expected speed of a Gundam pilot, but had been surprised by what he found. The silent doukeshi had admitted his emotions. He loved Quatre more than his own life. But precious time had been spent  
trying to untangle the complex web of uncertainties and truths in the mind and heart of the delicate Arabian. Until finally he could hear nothing but one voice. The voice of his heart.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Flashback:  
  
"Trowa! Trowa wait I have something I need to tell you!" The blue eyed boy chased after the taller pilot, intent on telling him the answer to the message. The brunette paused, his back rigid.  
  
"What is it Quatre?" The tone in Trowa's voice made the blond stop dead in his tracks. No longer was there an echo of gentle concern, wrapped by sweet happiness and a faint whisper of love. Now there was only a frozen disregard.  
  
"Tr..Trowa I don't understand. I wanted to tell you...Have I done something wrong?" The smaller boy watched his companion carefully. After so many months of loving each other but not knowing how much, the aqua eyed teen had finally let his heart decide. He loved Trowa in the same way.  
  
"It's nothing Quatre," the unmoving boy stated harshly.  
  
"Trowa, tell me what's wrong. I want to know. I care about you." The young Sandrock pilot whispered gently, unprepared for the next words.  
  
"Well perhaps you shouldn't bother from now on!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Keeping himself busy by examining Heavyarms, the tall green eyed soldier couldn't shake off the presence of the one he loved so dearly. The heart he had thought was dead ached for the blue eyed Arabian. He so badly wanted to apologise, to take his love into strong arms and live happily ever after. He wanted love, he needed it. Trowa needed Quatre. And suddenly from within came forth silken tears, drowning his soul with bitter sweet longing. Deceiving appearances are hard to trust. A quiet mask on the outside, a tortured soul on the inside. Betrayed only by the thin waterfall of tears, his face seemed calm and emotionless. Yet in his heart he was screaming. Screaming for the blond pilot who even now stood beside him, a trusting hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Trowa? Trowa are you crying? What's wrong?" The depths of the smaller pilot's concern reverberated through Trowa's body, spiralling down to pierce his heart. He could take it no longer. Breaking free from the comforting grasp the taller boy ran from the hanger, leaving a stunned and confused pilot behind.  
  
The blue eyes of Quatre followed the brunette with untainted concern. Had those really been tears that the blond had caught sight of for a few seconds? What could have possibly made the blank and unemotional Trowa cry? Fighting violently with his conscience, the golden haired pilot set off running after his broken comrade. Surely if he ran away he wants to be left alone. Yet somehow the youth felt loathed to ignore the hurt he could feel from his best friend. It didn't take long to find the quiet boy. Not far from the safe house Quatre had told the wild eyed pilot about a ring of trees, quiet and secluded. Where you could hear your feelings and listen to your heart. Somehow the young Winner heir knew his companion would be there. Trowa needed answers just as much as he did.  
  
And that is where the green eyed boy was found. Slowing enough to take in the situation the blond could also take his chance to watch the stoic teen without being questioned or called away. With thin knees drawn up to his muscled chest and soft brown bangs hanging low it was obvious to anyone that Trowa was distressed. It was a very rare sight to find the cold boy's mask lowered and his emotions expressed so freely but the pale eyed pilot could tell that this side of him was not meant to be seen. And yet Quatre couldn't seem to find the effort to care that his presence was not expected. Upon more careful inspection he found that graceful teardrops continued to crawl slowly from those perfect emerald eyes. Whether it was his natural childlike curiosity or his burning desire to comfort the one he loved that made Quatre take position next to his fellow pilot was uncertain. To the average observer the meeting looked innocent enough, two boys sitting side by side in the midst of  
towering maple trees. But to the learned eye it was much more.  
  
"I know you don't really want me here, Trowa. But please tell me what's wrong. Why did you run from me?" Unknown to the smaller boy, his comrade easily detected the raised note of sadness within the simple question. An unhappy tone that further enhanced the ache in the thin pilot's heart. It suddenly became impossible to keep the throbbing rush of emotions under the cover of silence, and the Heavyarms pilot looked up, straight into the crystalline eyes of the Winner heir.  
  
"I'm sorry Quatre," was all he managed to choke out through pained, yet silent, sobs. Startled by Trowa's evident pain the gentle blond unthinkingly reached up to brush away the metallic tear drops from his thin cheeks. Stilled from its ascent by the long fingered hand of the taller brunette, Quatre allowed his hand to rest in that of his companion.  
  
"Please leave, Quatre," came the softly spoken request, no more than a whisper against the dancing breeze.  
  
"But why? Why don't you want me here Trowa? Did I say something to hurt you?" Verging on the line between desperation and frantic, the aqua eyed youth searched the wild jungle orbs of his best friend. And though he found no answers within them, he unknowingly gave the tall pilot words with which to express his emotions.  
  
"Do you not want me anymore Quatre?" The Heavyarms pilot surprised himself at how easily the one he loved could voice enough hurt and sadness to penetrate his heart. He could hide no longer behind the mask of a soldier, but closed his eyes and hung his head to at least try and form some protection against the world.  
  
"Of course I do. What would make you think otherwise?" Gently, the shorter blond pulled his hand from Trowa's weak grasp to caress the tear stained cheek.  
  
"You were avoiding me," the emerald eyed teen whispered, relaxing into the feel of Quatre's hand.  
  
"Oh Trowa. It wasn't like that at all. I just needed some time to think, that's all. And I came to tell you earlier, I love you Trowa. I love you with my entire heart." The Arabian smiled, a wonderfully loving smile the lit up his entire face. Tenderly tilting his love's face upwards, he marvelled in the freely exposed emotions within those wide forest jewels that had snapped open at his words, mouth dropping open in slight shock. Taking the initiative, the sweet Sandrock pilot leant closer and captured the thin astonished lips with his own. It was such a delicate, asking kiss, laced with comfort and love. When their lips parted, both boys smiled with their hearts.  
  
"Wait, what about the mission?" With all the concern he had spent on Trowa the mission had been completely forgotten by the azure eyed Gundam pilot. His lover shrugged.  
  
"Someone would have come to find us if it were urgent, or taken it themselves," reasoned the quiet youth. Nodding at the satisfactory solution the childlike blond looked to the crown of the trees around them. Flashing specks of sunlight through soft green leaves as early evening swept through the sky. His life felt truly peaceful right now.  
  
The taller brunette leant back against the rough bark of the tree, green eyes closed from heavy-lidded sleep. Exhausted from the sudden flood of mingling emotions. The young blond glanced down to find the chestnut bangs hanging low as the youth slept soundly, breathing in slow, steady patterns. It didn't surprise the smaller pilot, after all, his companion wasn't used to such a display of emotion. The response both warm and froze the boy's heart. It had been for him that Trowa had dropped his mask, revealed the human emotions which had been kept hidden all this time. Yet it caused an all too familiar sadness within his soul. With this unwilling control over someone's heart he could easily break this boy without ever wanting or meaning to. By his own selfish or inconsiderate actions he could lose another innocent person, a person he loved. From the corner of his eye the topaz gaze caught the most beautiful sight he had ever witnessed in his young life. With his knees still  
hunched up towards his chest, Trowa's position remained curled up, protected. Only now the sun had faded below the horizon, casting power paint sprays of pink across lavender purple skies. Matching candy floss clouds floated gently through the winding stripes, giving the impression of pink elephants that he had been told, by Duo, could be seen when you were particularly drunk. Since the Arabian had no intention of trying to find this out for a fact he had merely accepted the words of his dear Shinigami, only now it seemed quite possible that what he was witnessing in the sky was akin to the drunken state Deathscythe's pilot had described. It certainly seemed as though he was drunk for one thing, with slightly blurred vision and a very light head. Tied together with a sudden urge to take that slender body into his arms and never let go, despite all his previous inhibitions. And of course when the breathtaking sight of Trowa framed against such a picture perfect sky it was  
hard for Quatre to even breathe, let alone fight against the chorus of warnings inside his head, which strangely enough had dwindled to one simple murmur. Even that had been drowned out by the love fuelled screams which cried out for him to touch that well toned body.  
  
Shifting his glance around the surroundings it took the pale eyed child longer than usual to feel safe with the situation. He was sure his fellow pilots would make no negative comments if he were to be seen cuddling up to the silent pilot, but there were others to consider. He couldn't begin to guess Rashid's reaction if he were to find out. And yet, he felt surprisingly comfortable with it. Rashid would pay no mind to this fact given time, after all, they were just two children trying to survive the war with someone special beside them, to keep them going. It was with this thought that the mind of the pale eyed prince shut down altogether. With a final grasp at bravery the small blond pulled his love into a warm embrace, a little startled by the willingness of the sleeping boy to be held so close. With the peaceful breathing of the graceful teen sleeping against his chest and the heady early evening warmth, Quatre felt himself also being pulled into the realms of sweet,  
battle free dreams. Dreams where he and Trowa Barton were together, and a strange thought crossed his mind as he let himself drift into the safe enveloping hold of sleep. The idea of being with Trowa forever seemed a lot more possible, so much more achievable at that moment. After the war, he would be with the one he loved and would not lose them. He would be with Trowa.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
FINI 


End file.
